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LIFE: Recap Word of Year

Reliance

I chose the word reliance for 2018 because I was expecting a child and knew that delivery was going to be a c-section. I knew that I am a pack mule and do things all by myself but that post surgery and adding a new little body to the mix. I was trying to give myself the goal of leaning on others, but did I do it well?

Reliance took a few different turns in 2019.

Jan 15: C-Section
     I knew that day I had to rely on those around me because I was not going to be able to do much. I had fear walking into the delivery room because I was about to have a major surgery and major life change all at once. I relied on God to keep myself and the baby safe through the surgery, and to keep John from feeling overwhelmed. I relied on my doctors and the nurses advice during the whole process.
The funny thing was that I tried to call the nurses to go the the bathroom as told, and they said if I felt comfortable I could go on my own- haha! What came out of reliance in the hospital was that I had to rely on myself. I was scared to push to far and get a tsk tsk but really asking questions and doing things was the best for me.

February: Superbowl Weekend
     John left us alone two weeks after delivery/arrival of Malachi to fly to Virginia to meet a church.
I had all plans on earth to utilize reliance that weekend but many of the people I would have leaned into were pretty busy but I did finally share when I had a visitor that I had not made dinner or had a shower yet and that person hung out with Malachi while I did both.
     I had to rely that God would lead us to somewhere I was never able to travel to or see.

March: Moving Across Country
     I had to rely on Malachi to give us cues on when he needed a car break. I had to rely on others to pack and unpack our car because I was still on light duty.

March-July: This is the season I had to rely on myself A LOT. Being in a new place with little backup, I struggled with being alone but God was there and I had to lean harder. 

October: Turning 30
    I had to rely on the journey that my life has been, and that no other journey was meant for me. I really struggled with the 30 number because I did not feel like I had accomplished enough. Reliance on God that He has it all in His hands ( what has happened and what will happen).

I never thought in choosing reliance that myself would be one of the options but I think that might be something parenthood has taught me ( mama knows best for her little). I knew God was going to be the biggest part of the reliance journey but sometimes I had to hit a wall before it showed.  John was a great shoulder to rely, and I for sure could have utilized him more ( but alas I am very stubborn - he will nod when reading this). It was so cool to experience reliance from the other direction as my son had to rely on me his needs.

Thankful for a mighty God to rely on. Thankful for an amazing husband to do life with. Thankful for Malachi and the amazing journey of breastfeeding that is still going strong.

<3 bye 2018, you have been good to me but I no longer can rely on you to be there - haha

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