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LIFE: It Hits You At Odd Times

I was not expecting to cry when I opened my Facebook memories this morning. I was expecting to post my yearly "ITS OCTOBER/MY BIRTH MONTH" post and was looking how I had put it in the past. Not this October 1st-  this time I started crying because my fun post about choosing which Texas chain I would get rid of only had one like, and it was from him. 

I have been struggling to put into words how losing a family member that I didn't get much of an opportunity to know, is hurting. At his celebration of life, I heard beautiful stories from two of his classmates/ team mates/ best friends who had seen his beautiful spirit on a more normal basis. 

This sentiment sadly lays with many of my direct family members for one reason or another: distance, remarriage, unspoken hurts, ect. I wish it did not, because as a almost 32 year old I am still struggling that I am not close to extended family. I LOVE FAMILY! If you are my friend, you know that I automatically adopt you into my FRAMILY- and this is why(and if we are not friends and you are yearning for FRAMILY- send me a message, teehee). My dreamer side wanted the big family reunion sitting at picnic tables playing dominoes while the kids fly kites and ride bikes. 

Remember- the choices you make as a parent, grandparent, aunt/uncle... affect your children, grandchildren, nieces/nephews. So what does that mean? 

It means that you choose to be family, even though you may see things differently. 
It means if you get a divorce,  you play nice with your exes and their families. 
It means you make the call, even though you may not have enough time in your day to hear the same stories. 
It means you make the time to go to a restaurant you do not prefer to see each other. 
It means you love one another! NO MATTER WHAT. 

Is it easy? NO! but its WORTH IT! I have seen it done beautifully in a friends life (I mean there have been moments where she's posts pictures that one of her shared daughters brought her siblings over to her house to play- I MEAN ITS STINKING BEAUTIFUL!) 

The message shared at his service said we had two choices: bitter or better, and closer or further. So though the emotions stung that I did not get ample opportunity to spend with this family, I still have opportunity to be closer to the family that I have yearned to be close to and as an adult I have the ability to make it happen (unlike as a little girl when I couldn't drive or know phone numbers). 

I will choose not to be bitter about what I can't change. I will choose to live better.



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