HurriedPatience

Photo by  Marc Kleen  on  Unsplash When you drop a student's birthday cake and spill a not touched venti iced coffee from Starbucks and it feels like the end of the world, you know you’re wound tight. There are many things going on in my personal inner bubble (we will use this terminology to define close family, friends, and household), and I know that I am leaning on the wrong things (food choices, social media scrolling, tv watching) and small first world problems (like the one above) are crushing my world. How often do we do this? Why isn’t our first reaction to hit The Books ( is the Bible, hence the capitalization)? I am not currently practicing what I have preached to youth and children going through the same things I am going through. I think it a because: 1. In leadership, there is a stigma to hide in your struggles until they have passed us over and we can say we survived them. I think this is a little bit where it began- I didn’t want to sha...

Sai De Silva We all have heard the stories, or have one of our very own, of a child who heard an adult use an adult word and repeats it. Little ears pick up everything, but so do little minds, hearts, and spirits. I have struggled with my body image since childhood. I have struggled with thinking that being overweight meant that I was not pretty. These stem from things I heard the women around me saying about their own bodies. Moms, Aunts, Babysitters, Friends- looking in the mirror saying," I look so fat and ugly today," or "I wish I could fix this." Part of my weight loss journey has been coming to the realization that weight is not equivalent to beauty and that I am beautiful with the weight on or off. I think this is part of the reason my weight loss journey has been so rocky until recently. I could not let the weight control my image of myself. I had to see the woman that my husband saw and told me I was( thank you Honey 😘). At one point I tried to ke...

Photo by  Artem Beliaikin  on  Unsplash In the past few years, I have heard the grumblings of older generations about the constant use of cameras when families are out and about. I am not saying families whos noses are in their phones using the playground as a babysitter, I am talking about moms who are always taking photos of their kids. I have even seen blog after blog about being present with your families instead of having photos of every event. I agree we need to be present in the moments that are happening, but is there someone missing that moment? Yes, there is someone missing those moments.  It could be a dad or mom is at work. It could be siblings away at school. It could be grandparents that are not living in the area.  I am writing this two-fold. First, that as the caretaker, we have to ignore the stares and whispers of the people around us. Second, we never know why someone is doing what they are doing, so why does it matter to us? ...

Last years word took a different turn than I was expecting ( check out my blog from 12/21/2018) . When I thought of what 2019 would look like, I knew that it was going to be an adventure. So for 2019 my word is: https://fontmeme.com/calligraphy-fonts/ Why I chose this word: I am still learning about the area we relocated to in 2018 shortly after the birth of our son. Watching my son discover things for the first time is like discovering it for the first time myself.  Entering into the 11th year of marriage with my husband, and there is still much to discover together.  I want discover new things in the Word this year, I am starting that by doing a Chronological reading through the bible this year.  After turning 30 this year, there is still so much more for me to discover about myself. Including but not limited to taking a few personality tests (I am looking at you Enneagram) and spiritual gifts analysis. Some of what I have realized is that not being in a sp...

Reliance I chose the word reliance for 2018 because I was expecting a child and knew that delivery was going to be a c-section. I knew that I am a pack mule and do things all by myself but that post surgery and adding a new little body to the mix. I was trying to give myself the goal of leaning on others, but did I do it well? Reliance took a few different turns in 2019. Jan 15: C-Section      I knew that day I had to rely on those around me because I was not going to be able to do much. I had fear walking into the delivery room because I was about to have a major surgery and major life change all at once. I relied on God to keep myself and the baby safe through the surgery, and to keep John from feeling overwhelmed. I relied on my doctors and the nurses advice during the whole process. The funny thing was that I tried to call the nurses to go the the bathroom as told, and they said if I felt comfortable I could go on my own- haha! What came out of reliance in the...

I am sitting in front of my computer and trying to process through what I have to say about the past decade. I have had a tearful start to the mornings of this past week as I have tried to do the same. 2017-2018 I have had a struggle with the coming of October 11. The best way to track a decade is start at the beginning. 2008 age 20      I was a sophomore in college at Oklahoma Baptist University. My roommate and some of our suitemates blindfolded me ( which lead to me falling asleep) enroute to a place I had talked about so highly from when I was touring colleges- POPS 66 Soda Ranch ! The thing is that these girls had never been there and it took WAYY longer than it should have to get there but it was soo much fun introducing them to POPS. That weekend I headed to San Antonio with my fiance to get our engagement photos.            I got married during my 20th year to the love of my life. We planned our entire wedding i...

Today at lunch we were discussing sweet old ladies who enjoy going to casinos. These ladies will share about their wins, but never bring up how much money they have lost in the process. This is kind of like my addiction to contests- I have never kept track of how many I have entered, but love the thrill of the win. Reverse this, and this is where many of us live. We as humans sit at home and focus on the things we see on social media that we or our children are not doing. I know that at home I have been struggling with the fact that I stay at home and my house isn't put together. I see post after post of peoples seasonal switch outs and amazing recipe creations. I see the perfectly planned and executed birthday parties or family portraits. I struggled with these things before motherhood, but I think motherhood has magnified it. I have struggled with not having perfect newborn pics, or that we didn't get enough photos at the hospital. I have struggled with the fact that I di...