Showing posts from April, 2012

harder and harder to breathe

Oh Maroon 5, how you help me breath though it gets harder and harder to breathe. I have decided that since I dont know what is going to happen I am going to make my list. The list of things I want to accomplish in life- so here it is

be a bridesmaid in a wedding. my wedding was rushed( yes by choice) and didn't get to help plan or pamper : ) run a half marathonown my own car adopt a childwrite a book NYCTravel to England to see/meet my familySnow SkiOwn Cowgirl BootsBuy something at Lululemondo a mini- TriathalonBe on a council/ run for an officebe a fiesta/event royalty  this is not the end, but i feel like talking about what I want is limiting what God wants and I cry either way. I wish a dog(me) could get a bone(a morsel of hope of a future from God).... because its hard to push forward when the circle closes in around me.

I work out : )

over the weekend, I had a little bit of a binge on junk food. Being at "Fiesta" Fest you kind of feel like you have to partake in "fiesta" foods : ) cotton candy, funnel cake, pancakes ( my school was trying to win the record for most pancakes flipped at an event- of course I could have done worse if I ate meat. Then I came home to CRASH really hard- walking around all day made me really sleepy. I woke up hungry and for some reason we decided pizza sounded AWESOME. We had not eaten pizza since February when we gave up cheese for lent. Jalapenos, Pineapple and Mushrooms was awesome.
Then Sunday I held an event at church and made some yummy dips, and not very many people showed up so I ended up eating some of that.

With all that said, I was pleasantly surprised to see a three pound loss on the scale Monday morning. Then I realized that I had worked out more last week than any other time before. Since I am a part of the running classes, I am following my homework guid…


I received kind words the other day after my social media rant, and of that I am very thankful. What I realized when this happened is that I am not used to true encouragement. I sought it much growing up but there was always a catch to the "advice". I am looking back and seeing that I over came a lot of obstacles, but know that I would not be the person that I am right now without jumping these hurdles
now if only I had long enough legs to jump track hurdles : ) I would not take back the hurt I have seen/felt/kicked in the face. I know I grumble when something goes bad, but two days later I realize that I have grown ( I think I may be a 40 year old mom in a 23 year old body). My students( though they do not always respect me as so) will constantly refer to me as 28 and 30, and a co- worker decided it is because I am married ( she is not and is that age and they all think she is my age).
 I am proud to be young and married and be seen as OLD Sorry for the rambling... I said al…

As We Forgive

I just finished the movie "As We Forgive" ( which I highly recommend to anyone thinking about missions, or who loves seeing how Christ can change any situation) and realized that I have absolutely no reason to think I have it the worst. I know that we all go through trials, and the ladies in this movie had to see their families be murdered in the genocides of Rwanda, but in Gods eyes none are more important that the other- there is equality in his love and comfort. If these ladies can forgive a murderer and even become their next door neighbor then we can forgive the person that has made us fret, that has left us behind in another state, that flicked us off because we were going the speed limit.

next up, Sometimes in April and Hotel Rwanda : )
(I love taking African Ethnology)

social media

I have only been back on Facebook for about 15 hours ( I was up really late last night) and I am already sinning. I do not know if I am strong enough to have a Facebook. People are posting all of their happiness moments ( pregnancies, family, new cars) and I am crying because I hurt so much that these are things I don't ever see myself attaining.
I am green with envy : /

till I become pink again...

Happy Anastasia Day

So this sounds super against anything going on today but I am smarter than I look. Anastasia in Greek means resurrection, one of the most biblical names not in the English versions of the bibles ( obviously it is in the Greek version in what we call the Easter story ).
So on this day that we remember the sacrifice and awesome anastasia, Curtis got to thinking: when Jesus broke the fish to feed the 5000, we're 4998 considered processed? Did Jesus make fish sticks so kids would eat them? :)

Eat some fish and get back to me :)

love is patient and kind

There is a point in your life when you have to accept that your plan for your family( brothers, sisters, moms and dads) and friends is not your own. I grew up in a family where if I had not accepted their changes, I would not have family and would have grown up sad and alone. I grew up in a family where they did not attend church, so they knew that I was not happy about their changes but I still loved them and prayed for them endlessly.

I do not have to agree with people or be uplifted by someone to show them Gods love though loving them. God loves us even when we endlessly try to walk away by sinning. These people may not be doing what God wanted for them but it is not our place to throw it in their faces, once we tell them- we pray for them and keep loving them.